letters to heaven

Post TGIF

at TGIF, seeing people coming for the parties with open hearts.

had the privilege of giving the altar call and leading people to Christ. was one experience that was the “choked-with-emotion” and “epic-wonder-and-awe” in God.

post TGIF, with all the activities to connect with our guests, to consolidate the new believers. with all the activities, and with all the commitments. I’m still learning. 

God is giving me new insights, new perspectives, and an indescribable inner joy, seeing things so differently.

When we live life like it’s the last day today, life will really be different.

but when you live life knowing that it’s only by the grace of God that you live today, you’ll be alot more appreciative and thankful for the day, despite whatever that may come your way.

and I live life thanking God for letting me see each day. 

leading up to TGIF

felt a need to pen this down because I’m forgetful.

for this year’s TGIF, I get the privilege to lead others, and together run a TGIF event for teens (the group of people whom God has burned in me a passion for.). was supposed to be 3 different events - 2 for teens, 1 for adults…but oh wells, think the 1 event for teens (now), is turning out really well.

but the journey to get here, boy. there were moments, seriously, when I felt so discouraged, even to the brink of almost giving up. shall not elaborate, for it’s not necessary.

in the season of all the busy preparations, working with fellow cell members, guiding the younger ones, leading the PL girls…God has brought me to the place, back on my knees. When I need to share my testimony (which is the same as the one I prepared and shared 2 years ago), it’s only at TGIF. this implies that I only share my testimony yearly, at TGIF. but this year, I was given the opportunity to lead teens to help them and guide them to lead others to Christ. I was given the opportunity to teach others how to share John 3:16 with their pre-believing friends. but more importantly, this year even before TGIF, God reminded me of His amazing grace - one that i preach/teach to others, and know in my head, but not in the deepest recesses of my heart. till today.

when I shared my testimony with the girls today. then coming home to reflect. and then realising, that 12 years have passed. 12 years since that accident that brought me to utter surrender. 

12 years ago, i was blind.

but now i see.

and it has been 12 years (and counting) of His amazing grace. 

how could I forget.

I GET TO. :)

I really thank God that I GET TO.

I GET TO play the drums for worship at Teens Xcite this saturday.

I GET TO lead the teens to worship God this saturday.

I GET TO lead cell group at PL later.

I GET TO worship God everyday, without worries.

I GET TO.

How awesome that I have such a privilege, to worship a really great God.

Who spoke the Word, and life came forth. 

Who chose Man, to speak His Word.

Who still chooses ordinary Man to speak His truth.

So many many attributes. that no words can truly express how great He is.

Thank God that I GET TO. 

G12 Conference takeaway highlights.

So we don’t walk through every single day in arrogance thinking we know what to do. We don’t. Every single day we say ” Lord, fill us with the knowledge of Your will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” - Ps Bert Pretorius.

Reflections, and resolutions

In essence, 2011 has been good, because God is good, and God made 2011.

During the “Count UP” party just now, time was given to us to reflect on 2011. 
Many things has happened, and unlike 2010, I can’t say that 2011 was the best year of my life. Many ups and downs, things didn’t go as well as planned. For one, results went down - something which I didn’t expect. but today’s sermon was one meant for me, on the santifying grace of God. great way to end 2011 and start 2012- in His presence, renewed, recharged, re-committed to Him. Other things that aren’t so good, with people around me, relationships and all etc. and yet again, a year of singlehood, still waiting nonetheless. (:

But of course, there’s so much more to give thanks to the AWESOME God!

looking back, remembering the new year resolutions made during the cell retreat, God has indeed been good, answering most of the prayers. 

I really thank God for my cell group, and for my cell group with the girls in PL.
Thank God for my cell group leader, despite the many changes.
Leading the girls has both been a great joy and pain, an awesome privilege and delight- I love them, and as I lead them, I learn even so much more about God, and have drawn closer to Him, through serving Him and serving alongside Him. I’m also thankful for using me to do His will, and that I pray that I continue to remain faithful to His call. That the girls will indeed grow in favour with God and man, and will grow to be more Christ-like. And also, thank God for using the cell - the cell has multiplied 3-fold in 4 months - Praise God!

My devotional life has improved, and I’ve grown more disciplined, taking delight in His word - Thank God!

Last year has been one filled with many disappointments, setbacks, and also fruitfulness and successes, as well as opportunities to overcome. Indeed, I am strongest when I am weak, because the God in me is manifested in my weakness. Indeed, the weakness of God is far stronger than our strongest strength.

Looking forward in 2012,  I continue to pray for God to keep me close to Him, by His grace. That I am useful, and faithful to His call and His work, that I may continue to be an effective minister and reflect Christ to those around me. Also, I pray that the cell will continue to grow stronger, both in numbers and in their spiritual journeys with God. Praying that their families will receive a breakthrough this year, and that they will grow to be fervent for Christ! 

I continue to pray for the one person that God will provide me with, and pray that while I wait, I will find great satisfaction in my singlehood, and that I’ll continually be able to give my heart and of myself wholeheartedly to God.

This year, 2012 - the Year of the Lord’s Favour.

I’m claiming it, for myself, for my girls. and indeed, I will look back to give thanks, for the Lord is good. 

intrigue

got the title from the newest version of Cluedo, with the intrigue cards, that contains 8 clocks admidst many other cards…the 8th clock and the player’s dead. 

interestingly, though i still prefer the classic cluedo, that game, combined with the many things that have happened recently and over the past year, reminded me of a simple truth yet again: time is short, and you don’t know when you are going to be dead.

it is indeed intriguing, that the past year has been a really speedy one - from experiencing the first semester 2 of uni life, moving on to year 2, almost halfway through my education which i really thank God for despite the many pains and complains, to a whole year into my journey of being in the celebration ministry in teens xcite, and leading a cell group in PL, admidst many other things that brought me joy, fun and other feelings along the way.

before the start of this year, almost a year ago, during cell retreat, I wrote down my goals for this coming year. I can’t exactly remember all the goals that I wrote (yes, I’m forgetful), so that also means that I didn’t exactly work towards those goals. However, I remember I did write one goal pertaining to God’s ministry, and really by His grace, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to serve Him by leading others to grow in Him through the PL cell. It’s a start to what God showed me in 2009, and also something that I committed to want to accomplish in this year. Thank God!

Other things, like my spiritual journey, hasn’t been a smooth one, with a constant struggle that I face in my heart. I only can thank God for His grace, forgiving me time and again although I fail Him, and continually asking for faith to trust God’s timing, for patience to endure the internal conflicts that I have, and to just continually submit myself to His sovereignty and die to self. 

Financially, it has been difficult, especially right at this instant where I really have to depend on God’s providence. some bad decisions were made, and some mismanagement of my finances, but also thank God that I still have a roof over my head and I can still live comfortably. More dependence on Him for the next 2 years. Living the independent life for the past 2 years, it’s not going to be easy living the next 2 years on no-pay-leave, reverting back to the lifestyle of a student, or worse, the lifestyle of a working student. After being financially independent, it’s very uncomfortable for me to even think about taking an allowance from my parents again - not that I can’t. Yet working will require more of my time and effort, and studying is no light hearted matter in singapore. so really got to depend on God, and when I reach that bridge, i’ll have to decide what to do.

Time and again, I don’t know if it’s due to my impatience, or im just hearing wrongly regarding the next big thing of my life. 

oh wells.

another 23 more days to the end of 2011. 

Watching the world go by
Hearing the creeps and the cries
Seeing nothing but darkness
And physical realities just diminish your light
The flicker of light, seems so small
So consumed in the vast darkness of tonight.

The loneliness, the agony
Oh it’s one too much to bear.
Say wait in patience,
But one grows weary as the clock ticks by

Save me, help me
Pull me out from the burning pits
Cleanse me, make me whole
Fill my life with your love and your hold
Help me to live again
To live again

Crazy love

Bustling cities, busy roads
I’m just but one
Caught up with the chaos and the complexities of life
Like a busy buzzing bee
Going about the routines of life
Stinging things that don’t deserve my time

Riding on a carriageway
Seeing the world whiz by
Without purpose and hope
Holding on to things that don’t last
Oh what a tragedy!

Then you came
Into this world
With your smiles and your compassion
You called me from my sorrows
From my pains, from my wounds
Into your warm embrace, showering words of love
Called me into a romance with you
One that I ever wished for
Oh, this crazy love affair I’m in